renewed misanthropy…

so it’s been almost a month since i started working as a sales associate at the local outlet mall and i have to say that i still hate retail and the shitheads that tear through the place i work at (and the thousands of places in this country just like it) with such a blatant disregard for common decency. the worst part is, i don’t have the comforting thought that my work is making a difference like i did the last 5 years i spent working as a legal assistant/paralegal. i am merely a miniscule cog in the corporate machine that cleans up after rich assholes that have nothing better to do than leave their disgusting disposable socks and other garbage through out the shoe department. ask for a fucking garbage can!!! i appreciate the people that ask for garbage cans or if i could throw something out for them because at least it’s not a surprise!!! today, when i was straightening up the shoes, i found a partially full cheese dipping sauce container in one of the shoe boxes. i just find it sad that the whole purpose of this job is basically to give bored rich people great deals on overpriced aesthetically pleasing impractical crap while keeping a smile on my face. i’m not helping someone file for divorce or custody of his/her child or sue the pants off of asbestos defendants — i sell so-called fashionable crap to insane bargain hunters who are insatiable anyway and are always looking for an additional percentage off no matter how marked-down an item is. but alas, i’m stuck with this job for now and i am thankful that i have a job at all.

eerily cyclical…

a couple days ago i found one of my many partially-written-in journals stashed in one of the various unintentional hiding spots around the coinoperatedcutebot abode — the similarities between october of last year and the present were uncanny but in a banal sort of way…last year I was job hunting and was sitting on the rim of the toilet bowl of life prepared to jump in and flush myself down (ok so that’s a bit of a melodramatic way of describing it) when i was offered a retail job which i accepted only to receive a phone call shortly after from the attorney i ended up working for until august of this year…i also rediscovered playing literati (via yahoo games) which i have been periodically addicted to since approximately 2003 or 2004…at present, I was just offered a retail position which I accepted only to have a law firm call me about a possible interview…i am also again, obsessively playing literati…this time though, i think i will stick with the retail job and take a break from legal clerical support and try to improve my people skills which are most certainly lacking…

i’m sitting at my kitchen table in fleece hello kitty footie pajamas typing on my netbook at 1:43 a.m. i’m trying not to wake toddlerbot and the coinoperatedfuturehusband…

when i started this post i thought i might write something meaningful but all i came up with was this lousy steaming pile of virtual excrement….weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

driving down 101…

i miss living in california so much. whenever i’m listening to nick 13′s solo album, I skip the song “101″ because it reminds me of home. i’m worried about my financial situation, especially considering that I found out today that not only does my current boss have a tendency to be late with giving people their paychecks, but sometimes the checks she writes bounce…i can’t live with that much uncertainty…i’m an idiot for leaving my last job as a secretary for a reputable, experienced attorney that paid me reasonable wages (at least, reasonable in terms of the local standards) on time every week. also, i fucked up my car today while trying to get out of the ridiculously small, poorly constructed parking garage connected to the building I work in. now i can’t open my driver’s side door from the outside. i really should be sleeping but i don’t know what i’m going to do…oh yeah and another awful thing this week: toddlerbot’s preschool raised the rates for the new school year so I need to find a new less expensive/preschool or figure out alternative. i’m going off on random tangents…I can’t believe that the minimum wage for tipped employees in PA is $2.83/hr!!! In CA, the minimum wage for all types of employees is $8/hr! CA has better laws for meal breaks and other labor and non labor laws. At least in the Bay Area, it seems there is more recycling awareness and more recycle bins. A lot of public toilets have the little disposable toilet seat liners available in SF. oh and i miss all the wonderful food…japanese, chinese, mexican, italian, vietnamese—so much variety and flavors…oh and coffee shops!!!! berks county does not have enough coffee shops!!! in the bay area, there are usually coffee shops within a five mile radius (usually closer)….i can’t believe that there is only one starbucks in this area, aside from the starbucks in the exeter commons target but that doesn’t count because it’s not a standalone starbucks. ok i’m going to stop rambling for now and will attempt to sleep again

the grass is greener… syndrome

seriously, how often is the grass greener on the other side?! not very often, at least in my personal experience. my new job is making me miserable and i’ve only worked there for 4 days! i really should’ve appreciated my last job more, because my previous boss was reliable, fairly accommodating re: child care issues & family and she paid me every week without fail. i really should’ve have savored the consistency instead of allowing myself to get frustrated by it. also, my last boss has so much more experience, has a great track record and is meticulous about details. my new boss seems extremely flaky, inexperienced, unreliable with a less than solid track record and from what i’ve heard from my fellow co-workers, she doesn’t pay very well if she does pay at all…i wish i could have my old job back, why do i always realize how great things are after they are out of reach???

extra satisfaction…

gingersnapbot is my arch-nemesis~a persistent antagonist~wish she’d cease & desist~she’s like a malignant cyst

I can’t help but feel extra satisfaction when I get into the top 20 with a tweet bashing gingersnapbot. It’s even better on days like today when I get in the top 5 with one!

thank you all for voting &/or RTing and for supporting my twitter catharsis!!!

all aboard the train wreck tour! next stop: frustration station

venting via artwiculate entries:

from this observation deck, the train wreck that is your life, still manages to perturb me & cause immeasurable strife

when we talk~the volcano that is my temper threatens to erupt~do i balk communication or perturb you & say “your woman is morally bankrupt”?

who am i to perturb your shack of fractured glass? answer: i’m your 1st son’s mom & i’m here to remind you that he’s irreplaceable, you ass!

i suspect that my apt mgr is a blatant liar!

On May 28, 2011, I emailed apt mgr dude:

Dear ____________,

Would you please email me a copy of our lease when you have a moment? Also, I am working on getting in touch with our renter’s insurance provider re: adding [property management company name & address] onto our policy. Thank you.

No response.

I waited a few days and then wrote a note and faxed it, then wrote a second note a few days later and faxed that.

Still no response, nor was there at least acknowledgement of receipt of my correspondence.

On June 8th, I followed up via email:

Dear _______________,

I’ve tried several times via fax and once via email since May 28th to request a copy of our lease. Please call me to discuss the easiest way for me to obtain a copy at your earliest convenience. Thank you.

Finally, yesterday June 9th I receive this reply:

I just received your requests. My e-mail and fax have been down since 5/31/2011. My copier/fax machine was hit by lightening. Cannon repair services received the parts and repaired my systems last night.

I also just received the signed copy of your lease from our corporate office yesterday. The signed copy will be delivered to your apartment.

Do you still need a copy faxed? If so please provide me with your fax number and I will be happy to send it to you.

Thank You!

Property Manager

Struck by lightning? Maybe I’d believe it if it weren’t for apt mgr dude’s June 2nd email reply to CLW’s inquiry regarding pool privileges! So he was unable to send emails since May 31st yet somehow managed to email my fiance about the fucking pool? Maybe it was silly of me to expect, that after an email response like the above from apt mgr dude, I would actually receive a copy of my lease in some shape or form that same day.   I emailed him last night (10:52 p.m.) requesting that he fax a copy to my work fax# and asked when approximately I should expect a copy to be delivered to our apt. As of yet, I have not heard anything from him today, nor have I received a copy of my lease.

operation rescue babybot is a go!

admittedly, the circumstances behind babybot’s early return are not ideal. but ultimately, i’m excited and happy that my babybot will be back here with clw and i. i’m nervous about the logistics of things, most specifically money issues…but those are things we will manage to work out…i just can’t believe how expensive child care is…and the frustrating thing is i don’t make that much money but our gross household income is too much to qualify for government assistance…argh…oh well…think cute babybot thoughts…

watching a trainwreck…

i hate it when someone you care about is happy & excited about something but deep down you know it’s not going to be the answer he/she was looking for…i know it’s so cliche—but i really feel like i’m standing at a train station watching an out of control train barrel down the tracks headed straight for a solid wall…there’s nothing i can do or say that will make it stop itself from crashing…i know it’s not my place to say or do anything, but i also can’t look away…all i can do is watch and hope the wreckage can be cleared eventually and not too many people get hurt…

my 29th birthday…

this will be the first birthday, since babybot was born, that i will be spending it without him …but i guess, if there’s anything that i’ve learned in my 29 years on this planet it’s that life is full of disappointments. the good news is, at least it hasn’t started off like last year

i have a lot of things to be thankful for, but i can’t help dropping an anvil of regret on myself on my birthday…it’s like this emotionally masochistic ritual…with the passage of each year, i always seem to focus on how i thought i’d have accomplished more &/or be in better shape (both physically and emotionally)… it’s like the gift i can always count on receiving every year is a nicely wrapped box full of self pity…