so, regarding my last post in June, I did get an explanation from the exhusbot—it was unsatisfactory but that whole debacle pales in comparison to his recent news —-yes, that’s right, despite the fact that his wife had two children from a previous marriage when he met her, and then they had a baby together less than 2 years ago—they are now expecting to add a 4th child to their household…yes, this is the same exhusbot that just a few months ago was unemployed, telling me he wasn’t sure if he could continue to send money to help support our son…i understand that he is employed again which is fine and dandy but i sincerely doubt that he’s making enough to sustain a household of 6 people but i guess for the most part, it’s not really my business…what is my business, however, is the consequences of his actions and how they effect my son. if the exhusbot was a gazillionaire—he could have a whole football team w/ his bitchy wife for all i care…alas, however, that’s not the case. here’s one thing i want to make very fucking crystal clear: this is NOT about money to me. i’m not going to lie and say that it would be easy for the coinoperatedhubby & I to manage our already limited finances without the exhusbot’s contributions, but i’m sure that we could make it work if we absolutely had to. this is what is pissing me off: my not-so-microbear already doesn’t see his father very often because roundtrip airfare from CA to PA is not cheap and of course, the exhusbot has to work and has a wife, a daughter & two stepsons so a combination of work & family obligations combined with limited $ makes it incredibly difficult to schedule trips to visit already as it is. trust me, i was upset when he gave me the news about their first child together especially since the whole thing seemed like a hail mary pass in the redheadbot’s desperate playbook of coercion & manipulation as a means to garner instant forgiveness for her emotional sadism…that’s beside the point and material for past and possibly future scathing posts but not this one…anyway, my little boy didn’t understand why daddy & the gingersnap were having a new baby since he was (and still is) trying to adjust to his parents being divorced and both remarried to other people. while the exhusbot kept contributing monetarily, it became noticeable that he called or requested skype video chats with the not-so-microbear less and less. he used to call &/or skype with microbear on a weekly basis but now it’s far less frequent and much more sporadic. now that he’s expecting another child, is he going to be even less involved in my little boy’s life? if my son wants to visit with his father, will he have adequate space and a bed to sleep in? and another thing, when the hell is he going to tell our son that a new baby is on the way? is he expecting the coinoperatedhubby & i to break the news to our 5 year old? why am i responsible for explaining the product of the exhusbot’s poor judgment and his wife’s refusal to use birth control to a child who still looks up to and misses his father? regardless of whether the exhusbot realizes it or not, his lack of disclosure puts me in an awkward and extremely uncomfortable position of feeling like i’m lying to my son and the longer he puts it off the less time i have to try to help my son to be as emotionally ok with the situation as much possible…the exhusbot has the luxury of stirring up tidal waves of sorrow and anger within my son from across the country without having to deal with the aftermath and my hubby and i are the rescue/clean up crew… as if there weren’t enough daily challenges in life, my exhusbot’s irrational zeal for bringing more children into this insane world we live in is not helping…i really hope that my little kindergarten kid won’t be deeply hurt and depressed when he finally does hear the news…but if he is upset about it, both his stepdad and i are here for him and love him very much and will continue to do all that we can and make necessary sacrifices to help him to grow up to be a strong, successful young man.
I shouldn’t have logged into Facebook this morning.
But before I explain why, here’s a little back story: my ex-husband told me a couple months ago that he was having difficult times financially so when he had scheduled his visit to PA to visit the child formerly known as “babybot” (he’s 5 years old now!), he talked me into letting him stay at my apartment for over a week because otherwise he’d have to cut his trip short. Obviously, as much as he irritates me and as much as I didn’t want him staying in our apartment at all, let alone for over a week, I agreed because I didn’t want to feel like I had somehow “short-changed” my son & prevented him from spending more time with his dad. Additionally, the ex-husbot have an unofficial support arrangement set up which had been working more or less but since his financial situation went south, he told me he wasn’t able to contribute as much as he had been.
Now back to this morning: I logged into Facebook and one of the first things I see in my timeline is a close-up photo of my ex-husband’s wife’s brand new anniversary band with rose gold and diamonds! (You may be asking, why are you friends with his wife on Facebook in the first place? Good question: it’s because he guilt-tripped me into that too…Because according to him, I needed to let bygones be bygones, wipe the dirty slate clean and accept her as 1/4 of our parenting team. ) He hasn’t been in contact with me personally for weeks and he didn’t have time to speak with his own son on Father’s day…So…What was I supposed to think???
So about an hour ago, I sent him a text:
Me: Pls call or txt me.
Him: Hi whats up?
Me: Next time you tell your exwife you can’t afford to stay in a hotel & cant afford to give the usual amt in unofficial child support make sure your wife doesnt post a close up pic of her new anniversary band in fb (it should be on fb, stupid typographical errors!)
Him: Excuse me. You dont know how that was paid for and how much. Please dont point accusatory thoughts or suggestions without knowing the whole story.
Me: Well whats the story? You have to admit it looks weird
Me: Like you weren’t being honest
I still have yet to receive an explanation…
Some may argue that’s it’s none of my business, and while that may be partially true, my littleboybot’s stepdaddy & I aren’t exactly rolling around in money and I try very hard to be accommodating and understanding about the exhusbot’s financial situation so when I see gingersnapbot bragging about a gift that he gave her that obviously cost a couple hundred dollars plastered all over Facebook, isn’t it understandable why I may be suspicious?
i miss the san francisco bay area….my feelings on this topic haven’t changed since my driving down 101 entry from 2011…my location has changed, i live in chester county now…i’ve also become more political, which is good and bad…it’s good because i give a shit about what’s going on in my borough, county, state (or commonwealth lol) and country….but it’s bad because the county i live in is heavily populated with republicans
Yesterday, 1/20/2013 was our first wedding anniversary ♥! And the folks who created the word game that brought us together wished us happy anniversary on twitter, which is incredibly awesome!!!
here’s a text that i sent to mr. bot this afternoon:
“In the spirit of the upcoming new year, I accepted gingersnapbot’s fb request. But be warned, if she posts preachy assed shit on my fb again, I won’t hesitate to delete her again. Sorry if that sounds bitchy but I really don’t need anymore pointless drama or unsolicited advice in my life but I do understand that she is 1/4 of toddlerbot’s parent team.”
why did i accept her friend request, despite our past social media based drama (not to mention the real life drama)? because i’m trying to make an effort to stay on decent terms with toddlerbot’s dad, mainly because i don’t want the kiddo to grow up thinking that i stood in the way of him maintaining a relationship w/ his dad. unfortunately, gingersnapbot is officially mrs. bot now and also the mother of mr. bot’s 1 year old daughter…i acknowledge that dealing with her is going to be an important part of keeping the peace between toddlerbot’s dad and i…besides, i miss and love mr. bot’s family, particularly the ex-inlawbots, and if i have any hopes of staying off their shit list, i have to swallow the contempt building up inside of me and keep the lines of communication between gingersnapbot and i open…
her comment on the whole acceptance of friend request thing:
“my babydaddybabymama. Or is that my stepbabymama?”
I have to say, I am already regretting letting her back into my social media stream…I just want to paddle away…
i’m almost positive i’ve written about this online before…but maybe it was in some dead blog/journal from years ago i can’t remember now…at any rate, it’s that time of year again—the season of the poinsettia-infestation…christmas trees i can live with, but the poinsettias make me cringe…i remember one december during my high school years when i was living w/ my aunt V, being left at home during the holiday season while she went with her husband to Germany with one of those wretched crimson plants as my only company…i was given the option to go to Germany, but i worked in retail and risked losing my job if i took off more than a few days—and besides, aunt V charged me for living with her which i’m pretty sure wasn’t legal and i couldn’t afford to lose my job or else i wouldn’t be able pay her the $ she required…so anyway, ever since then i’ve hated poinsettia plants…they’ve become the symbol for everything i hate about the holidays…don’t get me wrong — there’s a lot to like about the holidays, but i do have a lot of not-so-great holiday memories that have all become associated with that stupid plant…although they aren’t as toxic as the urban legends have lead us to believe, their presence is poisonous to my disposition…overly dramatic, i know…
I colored Rick in with Paint…He looks much more like the toy this way :)
Funko Pop! needs to make a Glenn figure! It’d be awesome..
My version of the Funko Pop Vinyl RV walker….I added the red blood squiggles….
I totally want this toy…the top pic is my drawing based on the Funko Pop! Vinyl Toy (see bottom pic) inspired by the AMC show which is based on the comic book series. I also want the Walking Dead MiniMates…Particularly the TRU exclusive set with Glenn….
clw, toddlerbot and I decided to go to the local wegmans since we’d never been to one before and i have to say i was taken aback by the awesome selection. anyway, the international foods section actually had nanami togarashi which is something you don’t see at giant foods or weis…when i saw the nanami, i almost cried…not really, but i was making a lot of “eeeeeeeee!!!” and other assorted noises of surprise and joy while finding things that i’d been craving for i don’t know how long. anyway, i ended up buying a small tub of miyasaka awase miso paste, a package of hakubaku soba and a little cube of morinu firm tofu which i later turned into a filling decent tasting soup after adding some organic chicken broth that i had in the cupboard and frozen broccoli that was in the freezer…this concoction was based loosely on a recipe for miso soup on the morinu website…anyway, i think i did a decent job considering that i didn’t have dashi soup stock or green onions and the fact that i’d never used miso paste before (i’ve always used that instant miso soup powder which has the freeze dried tofu and stuff in it …just add water etc).
unrelated to my soup, i was also very happy that wegmans had jacob’s cream crackers because they taste good but especially because they make me think of my grandma….
when i first started this job in mid june i quit smoking. today i have officially started smoking again much to my chagrin…well i need to get back to work… :(