so, regarding my last post in June, I did get an explanation from the exhusbot—it was unsatisfactory but that whole debacle pales in comparison to his recent news —-yes, that’s right, despite the fact that his wife had two children from a previous marriage when he met her, and then they had a baby together less than 2 years ago—they are now expecting to add a 4th child to their household…yes, this is the same exhusbot that just a few months ago was unemployed, telling me he wasn’t sure if he could continue to send money to help support our son…i understand that he is employed again which is fine and dandy but i sincerely doubt that he’s making enough to sustain a household of 6 people but i guess for the most part, it’s not really my business…what is my business, however, is the consequences of his actions and how they effect my son. if the exhusbot was a gazillionaire—he could have a whole football team w/ his bitchy wife for all i care…alas, however, that’s not the case. here’s one thing i want to make very fucking crystal clear: this is NOT about money to me. i’m not going to lie and say that it would be easy for the coinoperatedhubby & I to manage our already limited finances without the exhusbot’s contributions, but i’m sure that we could make it work if we absolutely had to. this is what is pissing me off: my not-so-microbear already doesn’t see his father very often because roundtrip airfare from CA to PA is not cheap and of course, the exhusbot has to work and has a wife, a daughter & two stepsons so a combination of work & family obligations combined with limited $ makes it incredibly difficult to schedule trips to visit already as it is. trust me, i was upset when he gave me the news about their first child together especially since the whole thing seemed like a hail mary pass in the redheadbot’s desperate playbook of coercion & manipulation as a means to garner instant forgiveness for her emotional sadism…that’s beside the point and material for past and possibly future scathing posts but not this one…anyway, my little boy didn’t understand why daddy & the gingersnap were having a new baby since he was (and still is) trying to adjust to his parents being divorced and both remarried to other people. while the exhusbot kept contributing monetarily, it became noticeable that he called or requested skype video chats with the not-so-microbear less and less. he used to call &/or skype with microbear on a weekly basis but now it’s far less frequent and much more sporadic. now that he’s expecting another child, is he going to be even less involved in my little boy’s life? if my son wants to visit with his father, will he have adequate space and a bed to sleep in? and another thing, when the hell is he going to tell our son that a new baby is on the way? is he expecting the coinoperatedhubby & i to break the news to our 5 year old? why am i responsible for explaining the product of the exhusbot’s poor judgment and his wife’s refusal to use birth control to a child who still looks up to and misses his father? regardless of whether the exhusbot realizes it or not, his lack of disclosure puts me in an awkward and extremely uncomfortable position of feeling like i’m lying to my son and the longer he puts it off the less time i have to try to help my son to be as emotionally ok with the situation as much possible…the exhusbot has the luxury of stirring up tidal waves of sorrow and anger within my son from across the country without having to deal with the aftermath and my hubby and i are the rescue/clean up crew… as if there weren’t enough daily challenges in life, my exhusbot’s irrational zeal for bringing more children into this insane world we live in is not helping…i really hope that my little kindergarten kid won’t be deeply hurt and depressed when he finally does hear the news…but if he is upset about it, both his stepdad and i are here for him and love him very much and will continue to do all that we can and make necessary sacrifices to help him to grow up to be a strong, successful young man.